Sounds Cliché

A day late... and a dollar short.

So much has changed in our society, but that saying still fits. When you've 'missed the boat', so to speak. Or 'lollygagged'.

I'm late with this week's blog. That's the point. But, rather than 'beat a dead horse', I'll just get 'straight to the point'. In order for something to become a cliché it needs to be said so many times that it becomes commonplace. People forget that clichés are born of ordinary moments and experiences that everyone can relate to.

Being a divorceé feels pretty cliché. But, I think I wear the title well, at least I try to. I am obsessed with my children, with bettering our lives. I post about self-care and self-love. I am intentional with my time and my energy. I encourage other women to trust themselves, to consider the relationships they are in; would you want your child in that same relationship?

Perhaps, I am not the overtly bitter stereotypical divorceé. Afterall, I chose this. I was not a jilted lover left to wonder when it all fell apart. I wasn't left for the younger version of me. I was not caught off guard. I decided. I ended it.

There is a song, What He Does by Alexandra Kay that captures my feelings on the matter pretty well. Because there is a version of reality where I never get divorced, where my kids grow up with both parents, madly in love. But, as the song says, "I'd die before I go back to that life."

Everyone deserves the fairytale. Not everyone gets it. Some choose the wrong person, sabotage their own love story, give up too soon, or feel unworthy of it. But, we certainly deserve it. I won't ever apologize for chasing mine.

Back to why this blog is late, yesterday I had an interview.

Here's something you may or may not know, in 2016 I accepted a position for a new company as a Director of Operations, but the investors backed out. Three days before Christmas. We had just moved into a new rental, had two car payments, a newborn and a soon to be seven year old. My (ex) mother-in-law thought it was the perfect time for me to transition to a stay-at-home mom. Bless her, it wasn't her job to raise my kids. The plan was for my husband to pick up the slack with overtime and I would take care of the children.

If you knew me before kids, you'd know that I have been working since I was fifteen, sometimes multiple jobs at once. The idea of just NOT working was foreign to me. In actuality it was terrifying. I had never even considered being a stay-at-home mom. Had zero interest in it. I was career focused and always had been. But, the restaurant industry is not conducive to child-rearing. There are no daycares open all hours for the closing manager or before the sun for the opening shift.

I gave up my career.

Just like that.

Poof.

I went from being the boss to being home with The boss baby.

This is how I found myself in social sales. It was a way I could still contribute, still feel like I had a say, a voice, a paycheck. It all started with a tube of mascara. I worked very hard to grow my network, my online audience, my own skills. Covid happened. Nobody needed makeup. We never left the house.

Then came the skincare.

I will forever be grateful for the industry and my success. And, I was successful. I made a decent living, from my phone, with my babies in tow. I changed diapers and lives. Led a team of over 100 women. I won awards. Spoke on stages. I did the damn thing.

So, please tell me why that man filed a custody complaint, a legal document, in which he declared me "Emotionally and Financially Unstable"?

Excuse me, what?

I put my career on hold for our family. Helped him to get ahead in his. Then built another career out of thin fucking air—and he dared to call me unstable?

As if I were somehow unable or incapable of existing without him. Sir, I have been taking care of myself since I was sixteen years old. Take a seat.

So, I had an interview yesterday. Having to start over feels a little unfair. But, it's hard to prove your capabilities with a ten year gap that's filled with diapers and live makeup tutorials. Nobody in the restaurant business is particularly interested in my impressive number of Beauty Boxes sold, shocking, I know.

Ten years ago I put my career on hold for my family. Now I'm going back for my family.

My choices have always been about what is best for my children.

Sounds cliché, but true things usually do.