Good News!!!

Who do you call when you get good news? Like, who is that one person you can't wait to share it with? Maybe you have more than one. Maybe you have a list. Maybe you have a list of people you feel obligated to tell. The ones who would never let you live it down if they heard about it from someone else. Or the list of people who get a text before you post it on social media.

Do you tell the people you live with first? Because, logistics. Is there a person you call because you know they will be genuinely happy for you? Or, because you have something to prove. Do you make sure to share the news with your frenemies? Maybe.

Maybe you're more healed than that. Maybe you stopped sharing good news with some people because they always find a way to make it about themselves. Or worse, they tear you down, belittle you or dismiss your news altogether.

But, seriously, who is THE person for you? Do you remember that episode of Grey's when Cristina gets engaged to Burke but it doesn't feel real for her until she can tell Meredith? Do you have a Meredith? The person that just has to know before anyone else? Or that just makes it real for you?

I have good news this week. Lots of good news, actually. But, good news feels different these days. If I'm being honest, it has felt different ever since my dad had his life altering stroke. He was never the same after that. When he passed in 2018, a large part of me felt relief. Relief that we no longer had to continue the charade of pretending that he was still the person I remembered. He was but a shadow of the man I grew up with. And even though I had all of that extra time to prepare, it's been 15 years since I could just call him! I still reach for the phone when I have good news. Then I laugh at myself and just say out loud, "Well how about that Dad?".

Dad is just one person on a long list of people I used to call with good news. Some are no longer with us, some have moved on with life, some stayed exactly where/who they were and I had to leave them there.

Some were just collateral damage. When you blow up your life, there will always be some who don't make it to the other side. I'd like to think it makes us wiser when choosing who we allow onto our "Good News" lists. I'd like to think that all of the loss and pain we experience as humans is for a greater purpose.

I know that to be true. I know that without loss we cannot experience true love. That pain is there to make us move. I know that I never would have left my old life if the universe hadn't done everything in its power to make me uncomfortable. So uncomfortable that staying actually felt a lot like dying.

Still, it feels weird not to call them. Not to send a text or a pic and say, you'll just never believe what happened today! It's hard to let go of that history. Of sharing a life, memories, and dreams. Inside jokes, that only you are "in" on now. When I look back on my life there are few people who have just always been there. For it all. If we did a timeline of my life with the milestones all laid out, and took role call... there was a consistency for most of it. But, not all. Haha.

People come and go. I know, because I have been the one to GO on more than one occasion. We aren't meant to stay the same forever. We grow, we change, we evolve. We move on. We search for happiness. If we are lucky, we find it.

And after all of that, I have to say... I'm okay with keeping good news to myself and those closest to me. Knowing someone is a privilege. Getting to be a part of someone's greatest moments, their failures and their successes. Holding their hand through grief. Wiping tears. Cheers to that milestone moment. High-fiving a win. Hugging when words don't do the moment justice. What a privilege it is to be a human. To have relationships. To endure. To celebrate.

To just LIVE.