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 About Trina Kay

I’m Trina Kay — writer, blogger, mother, author of Dismantled, and living proof that you are allowed to choose again.
 
Again and again, if necessary.
 
For years, I built a life around what everyone else needed from me. I stayed home to raise my children and support my former husband’s career. I lost parts of myself in survival mode, routine, responsibility, and the quiet pressure to keep everything together.
 
Then one day, I realized something:
You do not have to stay the same person forever.
 
You are allowed to outgrow people.
Outgrow old versions of yourself.
Outgrow lives that no longer fit.
 
Starting over after a decade was terrifying. Rebuilding a career, redefining motherhood, falling back in love with life, learning who I actually am outside of everyone else’s expectations… none of it was easy.
 
But it was worth it.
 
Because happy looks different for everyone. And at the end of the day, it is not our job to live a life that makes sense to strangers on the internet, old friends, family members, or people committed to misunderstanding us. That conversation is between you and whatever God you believe in.
 
This space is where I share that journey honestly.
 
I update my blog weekly and am always working on new essays, books, and creative projects centered around real life, healing, motherhood, love, identity, rebuilding, and choosing joy without apology.
 
And for my fellow moms:
Choosing yourself is not selfish.
 
Your children are learning how to live by watching you. Every day.
Teach them that happiness matters.
Teach them not to settle.
Teach them that it is okay to begin again.
 
Choose yourself.
Choose peace.
Choose happy.

Trina Kay

XO

There's a chapter after that one, too.

I'm 5'1", chronically optimistic, and the kind of person who can turn a grocery run into an entire afternoon because I saw flowers I wanted to arrange, or a bookstore I wanted to wander through.

I cry at weddings. I stop for old houses. If there's a porch swing, I'm probably sitting in it.

I have five kids. Not all of them biologically — but in every way that matters, they're mine. Blended families are messy and beautiful and hilarious. Our house is rarely quiet, and I wouldn't trade that for anything.

Then there's Julie. She's my safe place — and after years of walking on eggshells, that's not a small thing. She's the first relationship where I've never had to wonder if I was too much, or not enough.

Before any of this, I spent years leading restaurants — which means I know how to lead people, solve problems under pressure, and make decisions fast.

I'm obsessed with ordinary life. Grocery store flowers can change a mood. Fresh sheets fix almost anything. A walk in the woods clears my head better than scrolling ever will.

I don't want an audience that envies my life. I want a community that believes their own life can become more beautiful. If you read something here and decide to drink another glass of water, buy yourself flowers, or finally book that trip — that's success.

If you're stuck, I know what that feels like. You're not stuck forever. Let's build a life worth waking up for.

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