My Girlfriend is Toxic

My girlfriend is toxic. I know- that’s shocking to hear. I only ever talk about how much I love her. How amazing she is at making every day feel like a fairytale. How lucky I am to have reconnected with her after two decades apart.

But, yeah. She’s toxic.

Not in that buzzword, trendy-psychosis, let’s all

trauma bond kinda way.

She is literally toxic. >is Britney Spears singing in your head yet? No. Go ahead and pull up Spotify- I’ll wait.

Fun fact you probably don’t know about chemo… it can seep out of your bodily fluid. Patients are literally instructed to put the toilet seat down and flush twice after every trip to the bathroom during your infusion and for 48 hours after.

We have an “Emergency Clean Up Kit” in our upstairs bathroom just in case she gets sick and doesn’t make it to the bathroom in time. We also have one of those fluorescent yellow bio-hazard disposals which we fill with her empty chemo bags and the rest of the supplies used for “disconnect day”.

I kissed her once while she was still being infused and my tongue tingled like a chemical burn for two days.

Lesson learned.

That’s not true- I’d kiss her even if it meant I would catch on fire. But, she’s exhausted and in no mood for my shenanigans.

Some days I feel like I’m watching our lives from behind plexiglass. Everything is a little blurry and the likes are all muffled.

Later, after the bell has been rung. The scans have been clear. Once she’s recouped some energy. Her hair grows back. She feels herself or something like it again.

Much later, I will call this time the “in-between”. In between our whirlwind romance and our happily ever after.

This time though- it’s what real love stories are made of. It’s the difficult choices, mundane days and the deep ache in your soul for love to truly conquer all.